Fear is BIG in our lives. In fact, according to Dr. David Hawkins, author of Power vs Force: The Hidden Determinations of Human Behaviour, 87% of the world’s population live their life ruled by FEAR!
Much of what we fear is imagined.
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Mark Twain
“When I look back on all the worries I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened.” Sir Winston Churchill. He’s also known for saying that 90% of what you worry about never happens; of the remaining 10%, 90% of it never happens either. That means only 1% of all fears are ever realized!
Did you get that? Churchill estimates that only 1% of all fears are ever realized!!!! Okay, so even if he’s off by a few degrees, it’s still a remarkable small number. Besides, odds are that you were intensely worried about something at the same time last year, and that now you can’t even remember what it was. And in the event that you experienced a REAL fear that actually materialized, I’m willing to bet that you solved it.
Did you know that each person has only two natural, inborn fears? They are:
That’s it! There isn’t any more! All other fears are LEARNED. And anything you have learned can be UNlearned and RElearned. Yes, Virginia, there is hope after all!
The first trick is to actually get inside your fear and uncover what it is that you really fear.
So begin by writing out your fear in a very simple sentence: “I am afraid of [state your fear].”
BASIC FEAR STATEMENT: I am afraid of speaking in public
You will notice that this simple sentence presents your fear as an insurmountable, incurable entity.
Now, rewrite using this formula: “I WANT to [state your fear] and am concerned that [your underlying fears].
When you outline your underlying concerns, ensure that everything is stated in the first person. In the example below, the author may be concerned that OTHER PEOPLE will not listen, will not be interested, and will walk out of the room. But since you can’t control other people, your NEW FEAR STATEMENT should be about you. And face it … if you’re concerned that other people don’t listen, are not interested, and walk out on your presentation, the TRUE UNDERLYING concerns are in first person: that you will run out of things to say, that you appear stupid, etc.
REVISED FEAR STATEMENT: I WANT to speak in public and am concerned that I will stutter, I will run out of things to say, I will appear stupid, and that I won’t have anything interesting to say.
With your NEW FEAR STATEMENT, notice now that what was once an insurmountable, incurable entity can now be modified. Each of the newly listed underlying concerns CAN BE RESOLVED!
Get the idea?
Finally, I’d like to offer up this bit of wisdom from a Senior’s Outreach Manual by Tom Koziol (an unlikely place, I’ll admit, but what a cool find). On page 24, the Tom talks about the importance of keeping things simple, and includes a few tidbits from his own military training.
I’ll paraphrase what he says, but essentially, his seven step approach is thus:
Having said that, and dumped all I can into this entry, I too know ALL about lying awake in my bed at 3:30 in the morning, unable to sleep! What is it about the night that magnifies all the monsters?
And when that happens to me, and it happens to me frequently as I AM launching into my new life as a business woman entrepreneur, I go through these things in my mind. They help me, and perhaps they will help you too!
To your ultimate success my friend!
Britt Santowski
PS for additional articles, please visit my blog at http://www.chickrag.com
As a woman, she writes from her own experience. Visit her blog for women entrepreneurs, at http://www.chickrag.com
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